<p><strong>><a href="http://projects.washingtonpost.com/2008/pick-your-president/">2008 Election Contest: Pick Your President</a></strong> - Predict the winner of the 2008 presidential election.</p>

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The young gold-digger's question:

What am I doing wrong?

Okay, I’m tired of beating around the bush. I’m a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I’m articulate and classy. I’m not from New York . I’m looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don’t think I’m overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 - 250. But that’s where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won’t get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she’s not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:

- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms

- What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won’t hurt my feelings

-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I’m 25)?

- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I’ve seen really ‘plain jane’ boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I’ve seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What’s the story there?

- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY

Please hold your insults - I’m putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I’m being up front about it. I wouldn’t be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn’t able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.

The Answer:

I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.

Firstly, I’m not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here’s how I see it.

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal. Here’s why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here’s the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity…in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won’t be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you’re 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn’t make good business sense to “buy you” (which is what you’re asking) so I’d rather lease. In case you think I’m being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It’s as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as “articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful” as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn’t found you, if not only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn’t need to have this difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you’re going about it the right way. Classic “pump and dump.”

I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.

Hilary way hotter then Palin...and way smarter too!

Awww cute-Just look at these two stoners

P.S.

If you like Palin your brain must be underdeveloped

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Palin vs. Biden

It still suprises me how people, growing up, and associating themselves with other human beings, still are not receptive enough to other peoples facial expressions and mannerisms to know when somebody is lying and/or has no idea what the fuck they are talking about.

Take Palin for example...Clinton says, "I know why Palin is hot." Well, of course we all know why you think Palin is hot Mr. Clinton, you find a lot of women, "hot." Don't get me wrong I love Bill Clinton and his superman libido I find amusing. But really, its true, Palin is a hot mess. She is a lovably, stupid woman. She loves her family, I get it. I think she talked about her family more tonight than any other topic. Most of the other crap she uttered was lies, taught to her in that fascist, cram session, boot camp school the Republicans call Debate school. They basically just reformulated her opinions so they would be more in line of what they needed her to say, especially after she made such an idiot out of herself in her previous interviews. Palin has been at the right place at the right time, and shes been able to stand out from the crowd because of her looks.

On to Biden. I like him, a solid straight to the point shooter who's got his facts down. He's got experience and his known McCain long enough to really see the insider bullshit that old fuck has been up to. McCain is a sneaky son of a bitch, his so old and his opinions so locked up, he could lie, lie, lie and most of us would never know if it were true or not. He votes with Bush 95% of the time, yet he says that he is going to bring about change. Biden called Palin out on her lies several times tonight and it still amazes me that after 5 minutes people forget. And let's not forget McCain's temper.

At the end of the debate tonight, we had reporters saying the Palin actually held her on, and was deserving of a vice presidential role. Two weeks ago this bitch didn't know what a vice president did. She said so her self. Of course when they asked her that same question tonight, she knew the fucking answer. BECAUSE THEY WERE LIKE "ARE YOU FUCKIN RETARDED??? YOU SLIPPED UP!" So they teaught her what a vice president does and sent her off to her little debate and were like "BITCH YOU BEST NOT FORGET THAT SHIT AGAIN!" And she didn't, and all of America is just like OK she knows what a vice president does now, so she's TOTALLY QUALIFIED!

Anyways, I'm just saying that after observing people your entire lives can't you see right from wrong and good from evil?? I would think after 8 years of Bush we would be trying to stay clear of anything remotely similar to him, but here we are in a tight election again.

Next time: Who wants to move away to Australia if the McCain/Palin duo make into office...